What I am Learning About Discipline From My 9 Year-Old

What do you think of when you hear the word discipline?

For me I think of Hall of Fame athletes like Peyton Manning. They spend their days practicing, and then their evenings recovering and reviewing film. They know if they put in the extra work to review all scenarios and potential weakness of their opponent that it will make the difference come game day.

Another image that comes to mind is a member of the military like Navy Seal Jocko Willink. Someone who works with all of their energy to become physically and mentally unbreakable and ready to defend their country.

Jocko’s philosophy of “Discipline Equals Freedom” has resonated with so many because everyone can examine their finances, fitness, education, work, and life in general and see that when they are disciplined it results in freedom.

The image that probably doesn’t come to mind is a 9-year-old.

If other 9-year-olds are like my son, the thought of them putting away their backpack, clothes, dishes, or toys without an exhausting number of reminders would qualify as being disciplined.

So, what am I learning from him?

It started 18 months ago. He joined his first basketball team, and I was the coach. Second grade basketball certainly builds virtues, maybe in the players, but it definitely builds patience in the coaches.

The beginning of the season starts with the mass of 10 kids all yelling for someone to pass them the ball and traveling each time they touch it. They grow to understand more of the game and make real moves around the opponent to score.

By the last game, each kid had scored during the season except one, my son.

He was very aware of this and wanted more than anything to see the ball go through the net on just one of his shots. He got several attempts in that final game but not one of them went in.

He was devastated.

I encouraged him by reminding him how much he improved through the season, but it was clear he was disappointed.

A few weeks later he announced to the family that when he was older, he was going to be in the NBA. I thought wow that’s a bold jump after the season I just witnessed but I loved the naïve ambition.  

I thought that would be the end of it but the next day he brought his basketball to school. He returned home with a plan and made a chart with over a hundred empty boxes. He proudly declared that each time he played for 20 minutes he would get a check mark on the chart and by the end of the chart he would probably be ready for the NBA.

For about a year now he has brought his ball to school each day, completed his full chart and even added the next page since he wasn’t ready for the NBA quite yet.

Basketball was a struggle for him. It certainly didn’t come naturally.

He didn’t like the fact he was not excelling at basketball, and he created a system and process to improve.

Maybe he asked himself the question I mentioned a couple weeks ago – How am I complicit in the conditions I say I don’t want?

Discipline often comes easy in the areas that we are good at or that we have built habits around.

The real challenge is in the areas that don’t come naturally.

We need a daily focus, measurable milestones for tracking improvement and learning to enjoy the process as we work toward the big goal.

Next week I will share how I am taking what I am learning from him and putting it into action.

Creator Spotlight:

Jocko Willink - He is a great author and leader and even has kids books which I am sure is an influence for my sons path.

This video of his may be just what you need to start your week. - GOOD